Saturday, February 6, 2010

Some Thoughts

As you know I had surgery for cancer of my left sinus. I won't bore you with a sob story, but I will say it has been and continues to be a very difficult road. I tire easily, and in a few short weeks I will be starting 6 1/2 weeks of radiation therapy but today, one day short of 4 weeks since my surgery, I am here to share some feelings with all of you.

1. I love my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ who have been by my side in my darkest hours. I am thankful for priesthood blessings that have been given and fulfilled; it is the power of God here on the earth. All good things in my life are given to me from God.

2. I love all my family and friends who have been so vigilant in their prayers and support. You will never know the strength you have imparted to me and you will probably never know how much I have needed that strength. I have yet to find the words to express how deeply and literally it was your strength that brought me through these days. Thank you all so very much.

3. I am thankful I am alive. I am thankful to have more time to spend with all of you. I am thankful to have more time to peek in on your blogs and see the every day motion of your lives. I am thankful to see you on facebook, to send e-mails back and forth, and to hear your voices. My life is good because you are in it, you make me a better person.

4. I am thankful that I can still see. There are many beautiful things on this earth but the most beautiful to me is the light and how it illuminates everything. No wonder God's glory is like the glory of the sun.

5. Even though it is hard and makes me very tired, I am thankful that I can chew (some) food. Our bodies are marvelously put together and how everything functions with each other is amazing. You don't just pop food in your mouth and use your teeth. You also use your tongue, cheeks, the top of your mouth, and your throat...all of which have been affected by my surgery. Let's just say I have a new appreciation for babies when they are learning how to eat food. I KNOW why so much of that applesauce comes pushing back out of their mouths!

6. I am glad that today I could do some of my laundry. We are blessed to have work to do that never ends. We are blessed to have reasons to get out of bed. We are blessed to have homes and families and all the mundane tasks that are involved in keeping up with those homes and families.

7. I express gratitude for all my blessings. I have so much to be thankful for. Even though I have my emotional times when I have things I need to work out and deal with, I hope to be thankful for the answers to the prayers that have been given. I have felt the power of all the prayers and I have felt those prayers reach Heavenly Father's heart and He has answered them and I am here. I never want to treat Heavenly Father's goodness disrespectful by not being grateful.

8. I love you all.

My sisters were able to come to help me and when Kay Marie left she wrote this quote for me which I read daily:

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow." (Radmacher)

My motto is: "Every day gets better."


  1. I'm so grateful for you. It's because of your strength that I can get through my day. I love you so much.

  2. I feel kind of stupid even commenting on here because I had no idea. You Hardy girls are a tough lot...More the suffer-in-silence sort I think. I am so grateful for your girls--they have become some of my dearest friends over the wonderful world wide web these days. They are a stellar bunch and I imagine that could be traced back to you! Thank you for sharing your journey and your courage.

  3. Suzi, Ummm, I wasn't expecting that I would go to your blog and find that you, in your usual manner, just lifted me, inspired me, and made me cry!

    I am so happy to see you online and hear what you have to say. There has been a kind of black hole in my heart since your surgery, not a huge one that has totally engulfed me, but, at times, it has nearly done so. And it at it's smallest, it has just always been there.

    I just figured out that it was a hole of pain that I was feeling for you (out and out intense compassion), and also for me (from missing you and wondering how you are managing the unimaginable). Reading your words and your gratitude has filled in that hole for me.

    This is what I have been waiting for. I know you still have a rough road ahead of you, and I am always here for you.

    with love,

  4. I have always and will always love you. I have walked within the shadow of your faith all of my life and I know how choice you are to the Lord. I am thankful for your righteousness and that always, always turn to the Lord in all things. I believe in your courage and strength. I will always be here for you, especially as you know "our" new motto, "We will buck up, roll up our sleeves and get this done!" :) So get ready, I'll see you in a couple of weeks and we'll take Salt Lake by storm! Boo Coo's, Kay Marie

  5. Mom,
    there are no words. Even I love you doesn't seem to say it all. Just know that the silence and the lack of a long comment doesn't reflect lack of caring...but the opposite, feelings and emotions that are too tender to find expression.
    I love you, dear sweet mother/friend.

  6. Suzi, you have been in so many thoughts and prayers. I love you; your example; your faith; your friendship. Hugs, hugs, hugs to you. I miss you so.

  7. My prayers are with you! You are a great example to are an inspired woman!

  8. Oh, Mommy. I felt such comfort reading your blog. It made me miss you even more (if that was possible). I love you so much and I feel like your words were inspired. You obviously have been blessed with great strength and I'm so grateful that I am your daughter. It is my opportunity to learn from you, to be uplifted by you, to be guided by you, to be supported by you, and to be loved by you. I couldn't ask for a better mother and Heavenly Father loves us so much that we get to be together forever. I can't think of anything sweeter!

    Keep getting better and keep being happy. I love you, I love you, I love you (divine!).